Monday, May 23, 2011

What a Bloody Mess

This weekend kicked my ass with a nephew graduating from high school and wedding season in full bloom.  I will post pictures of those events taken by my new Canon Rebel XS later, but today, lets discuss the torment that is my youngest child.  On Friday, while she refuses to let me touch her or assist her with any task, Elliott slipped off to my niece's room.  When she appeared, red was everywhere.  Her mouth, her feet, and my nieces bed.  My first reaction: She bit her damn tongue off.  No, just a bath in fingernail polish.  I scolded her and went to work cleaning the situation.  I tightened the lid of the polish and discreetly placed the tiny jar behind my nieces television.  I returned to the joy of my nephew opening his graduation gifts.  Then, reenters my child with a mouth full of fingernail polish, a ruined sun-in-sand, and my sisters hard wood floors looking like a scene on CSI. 
How did she get the bottle open?
How did she know where the bottle was?
How did she sneak off again? 
I will never find the answers to these and many more questions, but I might have to start taking a Zanax everyday with this one. 
Pray for me.
P.S. During this drama Gram informed the family that he could not say "oh, god" (which I was saying alot) at school because it was taking the Lord's name to Spain.

Maybe, I can laugh through life, but I think drugs might help everybody else deal with me!

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