Thursday, September 1, 2011

Dropping the Bomb!

I am not docile or sweet. I adore cursing.
Really, I embraced it at about 16 after years of fight'in the
urge and married The Hubie, who lets face it, made it a art form.
Although, I love this art I do know the time and the place to use it
(not that I always follow the rules)
In fact, The Hubie accuses me often of scaring my fellow girl folk with my dirty mouth.
Yesterday, I started telling a story that dropped the biggest of big words the
I lived a breathed that word on the big hump day and found many uses for it.
Sorry if I offended the masses with my terminology and F off... Ha, Ha
I might have been inspired to blantantly use the word by the watching of one of my favorite
(weird choice for childhood classic but that is me)
If you have never seen or not seen it in a long time, you should watch it when the kids (if you have any aren't lurking around).
This is my list for the 15 best lines out of a hundred good ones.

15. Whether to kill yourself or not is one of the most important decisions a teenager can make.

14. They all want me as a friend or a fuck. I'm worshiped at Westerburg and I'm only a junior.

13. This isn't some spoke in my menstral cycle.

12.The note'll give her shower-nozzle masturbation material for weeks.

11. You blow it tonight, girl, and it's keggers with kids all next year.

10.Transfer to Washington. Transfer to Jefferson. No one at Westerberg is going to let you play their reindeer games.

9. What is your damage, Heather?

8. Football season is over, Veronica. Kurt and Ram had nothing left to offer the school except for date rapes and AIDS jokes.

7.Yeah, but this is Ohio. I mean, if you don't have a brewski in your hand you might as well be wearing a dress.

6. If you were happy every day of your life you wouldn't be a   human being. You'd be a game-show host.

5. Great pate, mom, but I gotta motor if I wanna be ready for that funeral.

4.. I sold her out for a bunch of Swatch dogs and Diet Coke heads

3. Now I've seen a lot of bullshit. Angel dust. Switchblades. Sexually perverse photography exibits involving tennis rackets. But this suicide thing...

2. My son's a homosexual, and I love him. I love my dead gay son.
Wait for it... Wait for it
1. Well, fuck me gentle with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa?

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