Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Bad Mothering at Its Finest!

This weekend I finally caved into severe
peer pressure from an 8 year old
and purchased
Grand Theft Auto.

My child begged for this game for about two years.  I said no and Hank said hell no.  After two years, we, as a unified unit, were tired an
succumbed to the begging and pleading.

I hid in the store as if I was stealing something.  I looked around for cameras, placed in behind my back, and prayed for

When I arrived at the counter, the lady asked me if the game was for me or "the child".  Like a deer in headlights, I respond "I am paying for it".....

"that is not what I asked mama"

Oh, Holy Crap she is own to me.. I am going to bad parent jail.

She stated that she had to read a statement
"this game contains violence blah, blah, blah.....
realistic sex scenes"
I shouted "what"... I was now having a full on panic attack!
"I can't do this"... I repeated.

Gram started to repeat "I knew it wasn't going to happen" with his face as if he had his only friend snatched from his life. 

The lady looked at Gram and asked "why do you want this game so badly"
Gram explained that he wanted to walk around, get into cars, and maybe shoot guns.
The acne faced clerk assured me that the sex and extreme violence required skill and missions and as long as he stole cars he would be fine
Gram came home and started playing with all the joy imaginable in this child's eyes. 
I was not selling drugs or committing crimes.
In his young mind, he was an ambulance driver, a mac truck cruiser, and the occasional policemen.
He liked to watch television and buy burgers not women.
I thought to myself, "you dumb ass he is just a child and his mind still thinks with the innocents of a child.
Then I heard some old man while my so was just trying to purchase a burger in Liberty City say,
"I cant get an erection which is crazy 'cause her tits were huge"
 "Gram lets play this game on mute!"
"OK momma, the people in this town are so mean"
Well, just another day in the world of a poor parent!

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