Knee Deep in Poo

The television banters daily about the Gulf Coast being "knee deep in oil". As a mother of three I am still surprised by how many times I can use the same expression related to the infamous #2. When I was pregnant with my first child I was warned by an adult that all babies explode with poop. I in fact thought she was crazy until all of my children have explode. I mean feces on the ceiling, tile, mouth, and even behind my ear. No matter how old or how potty trained my children become they have to tell me each time they go to the bathroom and praise them for wiping themselves despite them being solo on the act for years. From the time I come home each day my whole world revolved around the bathroom and all bathroom activities. Then once again yesterday I was amazed by the grossness of it all and glad to have a spouse to help me.

I was secretly on the computer working on my collage (I have not told my spouse who would harass me unmercifully) while my wonderful spouse was sitting down to eat the dinner he had to cook himself. Now let me explain, I am not an over protective mother. I do not watch my children every second. In fact all the major injuries in my home have happened while I watched so it might be for the best that I am not a hover mother. Anyway, my son (Gram age 7 & 3/4) comes down stairs making excuses for some event in the bathroom but will not say what the event is. The parents in the house run to the bathroom in unison. In there my youngest has decided to remove the toilet paper out of the potty after my son had gone #2 and not flushed. As we the parents start to re bathe the children in anti-bacterial hand soap my oldest and most precious continues to make excuses about how "I was just washing my hands and...", "It happened so fast, Mom", and the best, "I can't remember to do everything".

Matter of fact, It is not his job to watch her; however he has been potty trained since before he was three and now he is almost eight. WHY, OH WHY can we not yet flush the potty directly after using the bathroom. I should not ask questions that will never be explained to me. And as we tried to encourage/explain to my oldest two children to just get to the point in a time of need they walked out of the room and ignored the adults completely. My, oh my, I can not wait for teenagers that spend hours in the bathroom by themselves doing gosh knows what without wanting to discuss it with me. I hope that my knees are free of poo, one day in my dreams....