Recently, the family vacation on the coast has been a hot group topic.
I longed to escape from the the reality of G'wood
and relax on the warm beaches of 'Bama.
Unfortunately, The Hubie and I started one of many lets face the dislikes and concerns
that avoidance has been the prescription for at home.
Yea, This married couple broke out the boxing gloves for World War 2011!
That is right guys. The Hubie and I fight. Not often but with passion and with vengeance.
Always have.
We fight to release frustration, insecurities, resentment, and self pity.
We fight with anger, frustration, fear, worry, and hope.
We started this fight club from the moment we hit the condo. We felt heartbreak, love, and exhaustion and we survived.
I don't know how the argument started or what the fight was about.
The highlight was when we had made up then started back at it in the parking garage of the condo. I was standing up and finger pointing like a sick scene from Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf.
When another couple walked up and said to Hank, "I see your wrong again (laughing)". Embarrassed, I hid quickly to listen as they explained to Hank that they had been married for 35 yrs. This couple told him that the fights would decrease in intensity over the years but hopefully the the communication and passion would remain. They walked off holding hands and providing hope that one day we will be too old for this shit. Hank and I decide to make up!
In honor of this horrible story. I will share three brief previous fight stories that trigger laughter to us now. The Hubie can be a real asshole sometimes but his stories are his to tell.
These are me showing my ass!
1. When we were dating and out in downtown G'ville we got in a fight while walking to the car that
happened to be parked in front of the police station ( Tequila was involved). I was refusing to drive and yelling. Hank said to stop because the cops would accuse him of attacking me. I then yelled because I thought this was stupid..... Knock, Knock on the window. "ma'am, is this man hurting you?"... "oh, no"...."Sir, I think you are and want to take you in right now".... "oh, no officer he was not (embarrassed)"... "I have my eyes on you buddy"... REALLY, REALLY!
2. We were fighting in my bedroom at my mom's house about the fears related to having a baby and if when could do it. As I bounce up and down on the bed (of course yelling with my hands).... The bed broke and fell dramatically to the floor in which my mother runs up stairs and probably thought we were making whoopee or something! Yea, don't you wish I was your catch!
3. As a very pregnant girl, I finally stopped waiting tables to stay at home, study, and prepare for this upcoming change. I decide in the first week to be a good house wife and make dinner for when my spouse came home at midnight. I choose quesadillas. I burned one, then two, and then on and on...Hank walked in the middle of the burning. I don't know how it was his fault, but it was. As I yelled and cried. Hank picked me up and carried me to bed. He tucked me in and will never let me live down that rush of hormones for the rest of my life.
I guess if we survived that then we have more to come and more memories to make!
P.S. I really do love The Hubie despite these events!
I am a pearl girl true and true but I do love sparkle sometimes.
My mother, a large diamond and lots of pearls girl, gave me a baby strand of pearls for each of my girls on their 1st birthdays.
I never think to put them on them before special events. I try to put those miniature sets on my self. I honestly rarely acknowledge jewelry's existence.
Last Saturday as I got dressed to attend a baby shower,
I placed my pearls around by neck with Elliott watching intently.
She then handed me a set and asked if she could wear them.
I told her yes because they were hers and gentle placed them
around her sweet (still baby fatted) neck.
Wear them she did until we took them off last night while she
was pitching a fit after church. I told her that she could wear them whenever she wanted if she would JUST CALM DOWN!
I thought she will never remember this necklace.
Wrong! This a.m. she had me the strand and said in her
most manipulative voice with eyelashes batting....
Well, I have been a witch lately if you know what I mean?
This week has been a totally yell fest for me. I feel a little anxious and the loser of
this situation has been my Lucy Goosey.
How did it start you ask?
On Monday, I made hamburger steak with mashed potatoes and gravy and a salad
side. Lucy ate maybe two bites after moving her fork along the plate
(don't know where she learned that from)
The Hubie and I instructed her to eat 1 more bite of every item on her plate.
She ate one small bite of meat, an egg out of the salad, but no potatoes.
Without saying a word, I feed her a bite without gravy as I cleaned the table and her plate.
THE DRAMA STARTED!
She expanded her cheeks out in total balloon fashions and with cliched teeth
informed me that she was too grossed out to swallow.
I, the firm parent, yelled, "swallow it Lucy"
Then she made herself throw up all over my kitchen.
I LOST IT!!
(to say the least)
I screamed how I was not going to put up with this "crap", banned fast food (except on Thursday when we have company), and abolished all after school snacks ("even if your starving").
I WENT CRAZY!
I banned Lucy from television for about 15 minutes which felt like years...
(you know what I mean if you know Lucy.)
How did this angel become this way...
(I might have had something to do with it.)
My tension exploded on all my children this week...
Knowing is have the battle right.
I hope to be a kinder more patient mom through the end of this
Really, I embraced it at about 16 after years of fight'in the
urge and married The Hubie, who lets face it, made it a art form.
Although, I love this art I do know the time and the place to use it
(not that I always follow the rules)
In fact, The Hubie accuses me often of scaring my fellow girl folk with my dirty mouth.
Yesterday, I started telling a story that dropped the biggest of big words the
I lived a breathed that word on the big hump day and found many uses for it.
Sorry if I offended the masses with my terminology and F off... Ha, Ha
I might have been inspired to blantantly use the word by the watching of one of my favorite
movies........
(weird choice for childhood classic but that is me)
If you have never seen or not seen it in a long time, you should watch it when the kids (if you have any aren't lurking around).
This is my list for the 15 best lines out of a hundred good ones.
15. Whether to kill yourself or not is one of the most important decisions a teenager can make.
14. They all want me as a friend or a fuck. I'm worshiped at Westerburg and I'm only a junior.
13. This isn't some spoke in my menstral cycle.
12.The note'll give her shower-nozzle masturbation material for weeks.
11. You blow it tonight, girl, and it's keggers with kids all next year.
10.Transfer to Washington. Transfer to Jefferson. No one at Westerberg is going to let you play their reindeer games.
9. What is your damage, Heather?
8. Football season is over, Veronica. Kurt and Ram had nothing left to offer the school except for date rapes and AIDS jokes.
7.Yeah, but this is Ohio. I mean, if you don't have a brewski in your hand you might as well be wearing a dress.
6. If you were happy every day of your life you wouldn't be a human being. You'd be a game-show host.
5. Great pate, mom, but I gotta motor if I wanna be ready for that funeral.
4.. I sold her out for a bunch of Swatch dogs and Diet Coke heads
3. Now I've seen a lot of bullshit. Angel dust. Switchblades. Sexually perverse photography exibits involving tennis rackets. But this suicide thing...
2. My son's a homosexual, and I love him. I love my dead gay son.
Wait for it... Wait for it
1. Well, fuck me gentle with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa?